We have very different concepts of “friends with benefits”. What you mean is, you want to fuck me without commitment. What I think is, money would benefit me a lot more than the inane chatter that comes out of your mouth when you’re trying to be friendly.

After I got sober and lost weight and got some of my self-esteem back, the attraction of these relationships was the implicit agreement about non-commitment. I was unavailable for a long-term relationship. When I got involved with a non-professional, feelings would develop, things would go too far, and eventually somebody, usually both of us, would get hurt. The money changing hands is a way of saying, “This money symbolizes our agreement that this is temporary, a fantasy, it’s just pretend, and at the end of the hour we go our separate ways. Now c’mere and let’s pretend!